Prologue

my last day
i woke up too early
escaping my drowning dreams
the unpleasant keep eating the pleasant ones
they do torture me
please leave me be
these dreams I can not accept
if you're in the unconcious
stay there
just stay
don't show yourself to me please
i want my easy life back
to stay loyal to my old dreams
today's the last day of finals
finally
accomplished and over
the buzz i will miss
but the wuthering silence could accompany me

A 5th Dream (A Hater)

Morning
A fifth dream
I was shouting at her
So relieved and hurt at the same time
I threw an umbrella at her
She seemed to like my anger and agony
How could she enjoy this fight?!
Someone was watching us fight
but really not doing anything just watching
Its like a heavy cross on my back
She altered my perception of forgiveness
She made me as cold as ice
Only to her
I do not want to be a hater
But she encouraged me to become one
One day
I want this hate to end.

Full Circle

It’s basically about the concept of having a full circle
Things being in full revolution
Starting and ending, but somehow managing to have a new beginning once again,
just like a circle making a 360 degree turn.

So its a fan fic, in lieu of Meyer's Sequels
Hope its not lame
I just want to try it
After some encouragements (also)
Its in our page in TTS.com
here is the link:
http://www.thetwilightsaga.com/group/fanfiction/forum/topics/full-circle-chap1-completenew

Here's a glimpse:

Prologue

It scared me.
Am I still capable of getting scared?
No more dreams.
I can not dream anymore –yet as if I desired ever having them ever since?
I was never rested before, never once in my humanity were my dreams that kind to me. They tormented me, as hell would. Yet now this is more than even dreaming, far more better than any woven fantasy.

Last Night

Last night,
No it was near dawn already
My dream was about getting lost
I hated it so much
I knew the place
How could I even get lost?
Without money and cell phone
It was pointless

Almost Strangers

nonsense

today its all nonsense

my dreams this early dawn

was pathetic

But i love pathethic

pathetic and non-compulsive

he was not there

the stranger, the artist, the painter

although another almost stranger

Emailed me in my dream

I could remember the smile

given always to me by this almost stranger

Strangers, almost strangers, closures

all of them wildly partying in my dreams

Unfair, unfair for my tugging heart

Tugging me to be still

To see only this small big heart

To be owned with all mind and soul

By this tugging heart

loyal to its sway, focused on its passion

to stay beside him

until death

What about my dreams

What would I make of them?

What about my tugging heart?

The only one, which is real?

These are still questions.

Still questions

Outdream

i breathed
I survived
Over the power
the power of a stranger
Over me
Strangling me
Seeing the truth
I learned to breathe
To fly again
with the breeze
To walk again
in the clouds
To see nakedness
It hurted
It bored a hole
To see clarity
A pain and relief at the same time
Astonishing
I never felt release
The power drained out
I was free from his glare
Just praying to be free also
Of paralyzing dreams
Dreams of a stranger

NOTICE by GOMEZ

Theres a video below (below-below).I kind of made it..haphazardly. (but the song's really good)

It starts with something like this..

I stopped tryin' to write the things I don't like

And I started goin' back to where I'd been before

She said "I don't blame you I'd do the same

"Opportunity knocks knocks knocks open the door"

But I think she saw through it I see through myself

Another chance gone, won't get many more

Chorus:

But that's not the only lie I told you

That's not the only lie I told you

You never notice

The only lie I told you, that's not the only lie I told you

You never notice

3rd Dream

This morning

Is quite better than yesterday

I had my third dream of my personal compulsion

That person, being a very good artist

A very good painter

A reoccurence again

Love?

Animal instinct?

None of the above

Curiousity

Plain interest

In my undying curiousity

But today is better

My heart tugs still on its original love

Quotes that Drenches

"Love is the only rational act" "Love each other or perish" (Auden)

“He’s like a drug for you, Bella. I see that you can’t live without him now. It’s too late.The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.”

"So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?"

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger." (Catherine, Wuthering Heights)

"I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!” --(Heathcliff, WH)

INTOXICATE

He is after all for me
Everything he captures everything
Willingly, heartfully, endlessly
No questions at all
Just pure compassion
pure passion
pure lust
pure love
white with bliss
bright with light
blinding me
He is after all for me
His heart, all for me
No reservations
Always giving
The tenderness
of all its softness
It is so difficult to take
Melting me like acid
Melting me like rain turns metal into rust
He is all I wanted him to be
Could wanting turn into poison
Could purity scorch my throat
Could light sour my longing
It shouldn't be
We aren't even there yet
Still far away
This is too very early
Blankness
The light eradicated the red hungry sparks
His goodness made me a demon
How could this be?
I want to regain, restore back into my former self
Loving him like there is no time left
Or is this just the realness of existence
The normality of every day life
Not too much exciting
Not too much of a rollercoaster ride
This is after all what I wanted
Why would i yearn for pain?
Why would I like to look for screeching sounds of trouble?
This is what I wanted
For a long time
Can love of a very great
Finally, intoxicate me?

Eyes and Walls

I'm fascinated
The eyes
very deep
It speaks
My heart beats
Love?
Er-no.
A compulsion
The eyes it reflects on the glasses
It speaks
Of walls,and fire, of knowledge
It does though
A high wall called marriage
Impenetratable
Acceptance
Regrets..it slices the heart
What could it be?
If the eyes only looked at me

IMPASSE

self expression....
seems to be a good idea
My brain... very compulsive
very obsessive
the simpliest thought
becomes the villain
becomes the martyr
becomes the fantasy
becomes a nightmare
making me more crazy
the grounds?
nothing
oblivion
simply nothing
but yet it is there
the compulsion
the obsession
the simpliest thought
turning into my own created personal
MONSTER
I can't release this monster
It is locked up
Killing me
Making my heart go fonder
Fonder of pain
Incongruence
I don't like pain
But it is linked
Heavily drapping on my shoulders
a life
suppose to be
Do I really know what I want?
Giving myself into this
wicked wicked
compulsion
obsessed
with thoughts
That don't even exist
Existing only in the hollow of my
catastrophic head.